junio 09, 2021
No matter how small I am, I will always call and label myself a fat gurl!
I'm FAT! For the past couple of decades, I have had an internal and external struggle with my relationship with food. I constantly feel a compulsion to eat, especially when I'm not hungry or when I know that item is in my house somewhere - it's calling my name!
Now, let's set the record straight. I don't consider myself as those individuals featured on my 600-lb life, but according to that antiquated height/weight scale; I am "obese" for my size. What is my size you say? I'm 5'9.5 inches. I will not say I am 5'10; I have been 5'9.5 inches, since high school. As of today, I am tipping the scales at 226 lbs. I'm tired of always envisioning about having this great life as a skinnier person without necessarily living it. I don't know how many more decades I have left; I guesstimate about a good 20-30 and I don't want to continue being depressed about how I feel about myself when I look in the mirror. I've been separated from my narcissitic husband since August of last year and I want to look and feel good from the inside as well as the outside.
Here's a little of my back story. I was a single mom for between the first 5-6 years of my son's life. I worked a full-time job and also a part-time student. On the scale, I was tipping towards the 300 lb mark. When I last weighed myself during that time; I was 297 lbs. Therefore, I opted to have gastric bypass in August 2003. I had to visit a number of doctors before insurance approved it. Surgery was a success. I was much younger and the weight seemed to fall off dramatically. I lost approximately 130 lbs. Thereafter, weight loss slowed and I was still maintaining my weight and most importantly all the newer clothes in my closet.
Then, as if the weight appeared overnight, I was up to 213 lbs and the weight gain didn't stop there. I creeped up to approximately 260+ lbs before I said to myself - hold up wait a minute. I cut out sodas, teas, lemonades, and other drinks with a high sugar content. Pretty quickly, I dropped almost 40 lbs. The thing about me is when I gain or lose weight; I am able to coast at that weight for a while before something hits or rather something doesn't fit before I make dramatic changes.
One thing for sure, I have never coast back to 170+ lbs. At my lowest (many years after surgery), I was between 203/205 lbs. Now, today, due to my unbending lack of willpower and un-intuitive eating, and also due to the pandemic (ie, COVID-19 (15), my weight has creeped back up to 226 lbs.
Weight loss at this decade is much harder than it was in my two decades ago. Weight loss, also, doesn't help when you still have a food addiction, unyielding lack of willpower, and Lord knows this pandemic and access to the kitchen 24/7, did not help me either! Stick a fork in me; I'm done. I have given many people who have come in and out of my life many opportunities to get right; but when it comes to my decision-making about my health - I'm quick to write my own self off.
I'm tired of the up and downs with my weight. I'm tired of feeling lethargic and having no energy. Most importantly, I'm tired of not approving of the image I see looking back at me in the mirror. Even when I was at my skinniest, I still saw myself as a fat girl. Now, that I'm fat again, that's all I see, but even at this weight I am so unhappy!
I bought Sakara's Metabolism Powder before and I loved it. I saw that they have a 10-day reset and I told myself by all means I was going to do it this time and keep it up. I can give myself 10 days; I am worthy of 10 days and if I feel that much better after 10 days - then eating clean will be the way I will go!
Stay tuned for updates (including pictures). This will be an unsolicited honest review and documentary about this 10-day process.
6/12/2021: Received my 10-day reset! Cant wait to try it! I'm doing a vlog to document my journey!!!
6/13/2021: Starting weight is 228.2 pounds with a nightgown. 227.3 pounds without anything. Food Diary: Finished my bottle (approximately a 1/4) of water with Wegmans fruit punch water enhancer from last night. Also, drank about a 3/4 of Bai Watermelon Antioxidant Infusion water. Drank 1 cup of Detox tea. Ate 1 medium fruit salad from Chickfila. Ate 1 thin stacker (basil and thyme) try it. Drank 3 bottles of water with the full dropper of Beauty Water. 2 more bottles to go! Drank the Protein & Greens Super powder. Ate one small container of tomato cheddar soup from Panera with about 5 croutons. 1/4 Energy Super Bar. Drank 1 bottle of Bai Watermelon Antioxidant Infusion water. Ate 1 medium salad with some bacon bits (I know), a lil cheese to taste, tiny tomatoes, green/black olives, red onions, mushrooms, and spinach/spring lettuce. I topped it with Wegmans Balsamic Vinaigrette for taste. 1st time trying the dressing and I love it! Drank 1.5 bottles of water with the Detox Water. Had a 1/4 of the Detox Bar. 2 capsules of the Complete Probiotic Formula.
Mood: Normally throughout the day I suffer from bouts of fatigue. So far, I have not suffered any bouts of fatigue. I don't have any cravings, especially for sugar. While I have not fallen into temptation, I have thoughts about all the food I would be eating if it weren't for this reset. Physically, I feel as I if all these ingredients are working together to stabilize my hormones, blood sugar, etc. Normally on day 1s if diets/lifestyle change, I would have had about 500 small snacks already. Either I'm really ready for this lifestyle change or this stuff is phenomenal and exactly what I needed to reset my mind/body! I felt a lil tired, but not exhausted as usual. I haven't been sleeping well so my tiredness could stem from that as well.
6/14/2021: Starting weight 226.3 pounds. Going to finish the 1.5 bottles of Detox water before I start today's regimen. Drank 1 Beauty and the Detox water (from last night). Swallowed 1 Complete Probiotic Formula. Ate Chickfila fruit salad and two pieces of bacon (I know). If you knew how I crave carbs and sweet/salty snacks; I'm still winning! Gearing up to drink the detox tea! Drank 1 Watermelon Bai Antioxidant Infusion water. Ate 3/4 of the Energy/Detox bars from yesterday. Plus, 1/2 of today's Detox bar. Drank 1 Beauty water. Drank 1 Detox water. Ate the same salad as I did yesterday. Chum bites and 2 thin stackers. Few pieces of Chickpea Granola. A few bites of corn salad/salsa and a couple of Simple Mills Farmhouse Cheddar crackers. Guess I'm hungrier today! I'm done. No more eating for tonight! I won't call today's food adventure; mindless eating. I made sure that I ate good nutritional food as opposed to salty/sugary snacks.
Mood: I slept very good last night. I suffer from insomnia, so any good night of sleep is a great night for me! I was a lil bit dehydrated when I woke up. But, I know I am definitely under my daily water intake. I still feel very balanced and I keep thinking well damn how imbalanced was I in the beginning?
6/15/2021: Drank 1 Beauty/Detox water. About to drink a 2nd Beauty water. Swallowed 1 Complete Probiotic Formula. About to eat some fruit for breakfast and drink the detox tea. Scratch the fruit. I wanted something different. I ate 1 Simple Mills Dark Chocolate Almond bar and 1 pork sausage patty. Drinking my detox tea as we speak. Ate 1 Energy bar. Drank a Ginger Immunity booster. Also received the 2nd dose of the vaccine. Ate Pure Organic Layered Fruit bar and 1 basil and thyme thin stacker. Drank 1 Detox and Bai Watermelon Antioxidant Infusion water. Ate my simple salad referenced above. Ate a passionfruit bar and a few Simple Mills Farmhouse Cheddar crackers. 1 Basil & Thyme thin stacker. Drank 1 Detox water. Ate some corn salsa/salad. Ate a pack of granola cups and 4 slices of cheese. Drank 1 Beauty water.
Mood: Felt more energy/highly balanced. No bloating. Got on the scale and I'm done 6 pounds! My skin looks much clearer but again why would it not considering all the water I've been drinking.
6/16/2021: I forgot to take my other Complete Probiotic Formula. Doubled up this morning. Drinking 1 beauty water/1 Detox water. Ate 1 sausage patty and a Simple Mills Dark Chocolate Almond bar. Ate a pack of Nature Valley granola cups. Ate 1.5 pieces of bacon. Second bottle of Beauty water. Ate a few Simple Mills Farmhouse Cheddar crackers. Drank detox tea. Drank detox and beauty water. Ate some corn salsa/salad. Ate a strawberry/banana fruit bar and mango chum fruit bites. Everything seasoned cashews. Simple salad referenced above. Drank Watermelon Bai Infusion water. Ate 2 slices of cheese with Triscuit.
Mood: Continued feeling of being balanced. Felt a bit fatigued. Don't believe it is due to the reset. It may be due to the 2nd dose of the vaccine. Tired of going to the bathroom all the time, but nevertheless I ended up drinking 3 Beauty waters and 3 Detox waters. Did not feel bloated. Felt as if I was returning back to my old smaller self.
6/17/2021: Did an official weigh-in: 222.3. Forgot to finish taking the Complete Probiotic Formula last night, so I doubled up this morning. Drinking a Beauty/Detox water. Drinking a Bai Watermelon Antioxidant Infusion water. Ate Natural Valley granola cups and 2 sausage patties. I needed em. I lost a bid on the only house I loved! Ate a Pure layered Pineapple/Passionfruit bar. Eating off a chipotle salad w/chicken and beef. Drank another Detox water. About to drink a Beauty water. Ate everything seasoned cashews.
6/18/2021: Drank 3 Beauty waters. Drank 2 Detox waters. Drank 1 Bai Watermelon Antioxidant Infusion water. Swallowed 1 Complete Probiotic Formula. Ate everything seasoned cashews. Ate Nature Valley granola cups and 1 piece of sausage. Ate a simple salad. Ate 4 slices of cheese/crackers. Ate a slice of turkey bacon. Ate 1 pack of mentos.
6/19/2021: Drank 3 Beauty waters and 2 Detox waters. Drank 2 Bai waters (watermelon and dragonfruit). Ate 4 tacos with cheese. Ate a pack of mentos. Ate Simple Mills Farmhouse Cheddar crackers. Ate 2 ribs. Ate everything seasoned cashews. Ate 1 pork sausage and Nature Valley granola cups. Swallowed 2 Complete Probiotic Formulas.
6/20/2021: Drank 3 detox waters. Drank a Bai Watermelon Antioxidant Infusion water. Ate 1 sausage and a dark chocolate almond bar (Simple Mills). Swallowed a Complete Probiotic Formula. Ate everything seasoned cashews. Ate a 5 guys burger with no bun and a small fry and some other foods I should not have probably eaten before my last day. Drank 3 beauty waters. Ate a few tacos.
6/21/2021: Drank 3 Detox waters and 2.5 Beauty waters. Ate 2 sausages and a Simple Mills Dark Chocolate Almond bar. Ate a few tacos. Swallowed 2 Complete Probiotic Formulas. Ate a pack of Mentos. Ate a Chocolate Brownie LaraBar. Ate a few Simple Mills Farmhouse Cheddar crackers. Drank 2 Bai Waters. Ate a few Simple Mills Almond Flour Cookies (Toasted Pecan flavor). Tomorrow is the last day. On the 23rd, I'll do my last weigh-in!